Don’t worry, you’re in the right place

If you’re reading this, odds are good you came here looking for Tao of Indifference. Or you went looking for dating advice, and landed here. Don’t worry, you’re in the right place. All the content you’ve loved, read, listened to, or happened upon because of … Read moreDon’t worry, you’re in the right place

I think I’m moving too fast. How do I fix it?

Recently, I was checking out a dating advice Reddit forum and came across a post which I thought posed an interesting dilemma. It asked a question that seemed pretty relatable, so I wanted to answer it. Full disclosure, I’ve edited the question for clarity and … Read moreI think I’m moving too fast. How do I fix it?

When people show you what they are, believe them

Some people are good at masking what they are. They hide behind lies and well-crafted personas to present to the world a palatable version of themselves. Others hide what they are by gas-lighting, using coded language, or simply denying the truth about themselves or their … Read moreWhen people show you what they are, believe them

How can you tell if a dating app is worth it?

My opinions on dating apps and sites should be clear by this point, but if they’re not, let me just be crystal clear. I think that online dating, in general, is worth it. The value that people take from it on a person to person … Read moreHow can you tell if a dating app is worth it?

Do you have to be cold to succeed in dating?

Do you have to be cold to succeed in dating? Is the secret to dating success to take a cold, emotionless, logical and pragmatic view of dating and relationships? No, no I don’t think so. I think that there are scenarios where it pays to … Read moreDo you have to be cold to succeed in dating?

Why do we take rejections so personally?

Why do we take rejections so personally? A while ago I went on a few dates, maybe 5 in total, with someone who I thought I clicked with. Lots of overlaps with interests, dating goals, and life goals. I told friends about her, she told … Read moreWhy do we take rejections so personally?

How do you date someone who is seeing other people?

Let’s say you meet someone for a date, doesn’t matter how you met, just that you met recently, and you’ve started dating. You’re a few dates into dating, but you haven’t gotten serious yet, and you find out that they’re also dating other people. They’re … Read moreHow do you date someone who is seeing other people?

It’s hard to let go, but sometimes you have to

There may come a point where you’re at a crossroads. Your relationship with a person, regardless of the level or type of commitment may hit a point of no return. You might think they’re wonderful, that they’re perfect, hell, you may even love them, but … Read moreIt’s hard to let go, but sometimes you have to

How do you get across that you’re looking for more than sex?

Let’s say you meet someone for a first date and have sex. Or you start dating them and it seems like all your time spent together seems to be in the bedroom. Or, you haven’t had sex yet, but you’re concerned that your openness and … Read moreHow do you get across that you’re looking for more than sex?

What’s the best way to reply to this first message?

You get a message on a dating app and you’re thinking “What’s the best way to reply to this first message?”. Whether it’s the substance of the message itself, a lack thereof, or you’re just bad at the whole messaging on dating apps thing, trust … Read moreWhat’s the best way to reply to this first message?

Your Frequently Asked Dating Questions, Answered

I love my readers and I love giving dating and relationship advice, I really do. But I’ll let you in on a little secret. Your dating questions aren’t as unique as you might think. I’m not saying this to make you feel bad or basic, … Read moreYour Frequently Asked Dating Questions, Answered

Should you settle for a situationship instead of a relationship?

All you’ve ever wanted was a committed, monogamous relationship. One that has exclusivity and a formal title. You want to be with someone who is proud to say that they’re your boyfriend or girlfriend. Then you meet someone who seems perfect for you. They’re willing … Read moreShould you settle for a situationship instead of a relationship?

Let’s get better at planning dates

Based on how many people are finding this site by searching “I suck at planning dates”, it’s safe to say that for many people, date planning doesn’t come naturally. And why would it? Dating is kind of weird. Think about what planning a date actually … Read moreLet’s get better at planning dates

Why people slow fade, and what you should do

Why do people slow fade? What is it about people who, when faced with having to reject someone, instead slowly cut off contact, or diminish their contact with a person instead of being direct? What makes people think this is an okay thing to do? … Read moreWhy people slow fade, and what you should do

How do you count how long you’ve been with someone?

In modern dating, even simple things like figuring out how long you’ve been with someone are a bit more muddied. Maybe it’s generational thing, maybe it has to do with how people meet, or maybe it has more to do with how people ask about … Read moreHow do you count how long you’ve been with someone?

Ever felt like you’re not good enough and then freak out as things become more serious?

wanderlust0102 asks: Has anyone here ever felt like they weren’t adequate enough for someone else? Like had feelings for another person that you feel is WAY out of your league, and even though they have feelings for you too, you just don’t think you’re worthy? … Read moreEver felt like you’re not good enough and then freak out as things become more serious?

Is it normal for me to be curious about their ex?

doublechocolatecooky asks: Is it normal for me  to be curious/interested in my SO’s ex? I (24f) recently got attached to my SO (28m) after 2 months of dating. We’re about 1 month into making things official. He’s got a lot more dating experience than I have, … Read moreIs it normal for me to be curious about their ex?

I think a lot of people shouldn’t date at all. Do you agree?

Allthosephatmemes asks: OK I’ll say all of this, please let me know if I’ve gone bonkers In today’s culture, the expectation of finding someone, whether or not you actually stay with someone, is tremendous. I think a hell of a lot of people who don’t … Read moreI think a lot of people shouldn’t date at all. Do you agree?

How do I lose feelings for someone?

magnitorepulse asks: So I asked my crush/friend if she felt the same way, and she said no. However I decided to continue being her friend because she’s just really likable, and very similar to my personality. And we both really enjoy each other’s company. Known … Read moreHow do I lose feelings for someone?

Why are older women the only women who flirt with me?

JW_2 asks: I am 28/m. I get hit on my older woman (40s) all the time, married or single. I enjoy it, they are very attractive, but I’m wondering why I don’t get hit on much by girls my age? Is it because I’m more … Read moreWhy are older women the only women who flirt with me?

Your top dating questions, answered

When you’ve created as much content as I have (750+), you’re bound to get people finding your blog through some, let’s say, interesting searches. I love to look at these search terms because it gives me insight into my readers. With that said, sometimes I … Read moreYour top dating questions, answered

Great 1st date now she’s saying she’s busy. Think it’s genuine?

itoki asks: So I (24M) went on a date with this girl(22F) last week and everything worked out perfectly. She even mentioned that she would see me again aka another date. We flirted a lot on messages and she seemed very interested to go further … Read moreGreat 1st date now she’s saying she’s busy. Think it’s genuine?

Should you call out someone if they ghost you?

Let’s say you go on a date, or maybe a couple of dates, and suddenly the person disappears. With no warning, completely out of the blue, they just disappear. You reach out and get no response. They’re clearly ghosting you, and it bothers you, so … Read moreShould you call out someone if they ghost you?

Any advice about trying online dating for the first time?

sublimemom asks: I’m planning to sign up to OkCupid – I don’t have Facebook and I don’t want to create a fake profile just to use Tinder (that’s weird and too much effort) I’m fairly inexperienced but have been on a few traditional/face to face … Read moreAny advice about trying online dating for the first time?

I did a online dating photo shoot with Hey Saturday!

The first time I met Saskia Nelson in person, she told me, in the kindest way possible, that my main profile picture didn’t really look like me. It was the profile photo I was using on Twitter, but also Bumble, Tinder, OkCupid, and a few … Read moreI did a online dating photo shoot with Hey Saturday!

What do you do when someone seems too good to be true?

Let’s say you’ve been dating for a while and you meet someone who just seems too good to be true. Maybe you finally checked out a dating app everyone has been raving about, maybe you changed how you approach dating, and this seemingly perfect person … Read moreWhat do you do when someone seems too good to be true?

She told me she wants casual sex with me. Do I go for it?

seizethedayz asks: So this girl and I have been flirting for awhile. We recently talked about how she imagined us having sex in all the places we were the previous day. Which is awesome, because I have a big crush on this girl. But she’s … Read moreShe told me she wants casual sex with me. Do I go for it?

Podcast Ep.135 – It’s never too late to change your love life

It’s never too late to change your love life. Something I hope you know is true, and the theme of this episode. It might feel like you’re stuck with your lot in your (love) life, but I promise you, you’re not. Press Play: If you … Read morePodcast Ep.135 – It’s never too late to change your love life

I lose interest as soon as I get what I want and that scares me. What can I do?

warminthesnowstorm asks: I’m a 20yo male, I’ve been this way since I was 13. I have a relatively high body-count because I’ve never been in a relationship. Maybe I’m just a borderline sex-addict. I don’t know. The idea of a relationship is adorable to me. … Read moreI lose interest as soon as I get what I want and that scares me. What can I do?

If a guy tells me “I’m not a nice guy” should I believe him?

melonbellies asks: This guy I’ve been interested in admitted to me that he’s not a nice guy. Usually people would say guys wouldn’t lie about something like that. But what if he’s just being humble? Maybe he’s been hurt and is protecting himself by saying … Read moreIf a guy tells me “I’m not a nice guy” should I believe him?

Any tips on impressing someone on a 30-min coffee date?

WillNylander asks: I’ve never met this person in my life and I only know very limited information from their social media (which is the platform through which we met). The way I see it, I have like 30 minutes to impress this person enough to … Read moreAny tips on impressing someone on a 30-min coffee date?

What do guys think when a girl makes the first move?

I’ve seen variations of this question pop up on dating forums, usually with three themes: What do guys think when a girl makes the first move? What do guys think when a girl sends the first message? What do guys think when a girl takes … Read moreWhat do guys think when a girl makes the first move?

Why doesn’t anyone want to be in a relationship with you?

I see this question floated a lot. In dating advice and relationship advice forums. In the back of dive bars in the wee hours of the night. On Twitter. On Facebook. As an idea, a concept, that feels like truth. Why doesn’t anyone want to … Read moreWhy doesn’t anyone want to be in a relationship with you?

Stay true to who you are when you’re in a relationship

You ever watch Parks and Recreation? It’s one of my favorite sitcoms, but don’t worry, I’m not here to talk up the show or anything. Instead, let’s briefly talk about Rashida Jones’ character, Ann Perkins. One of her character traits is that she adopts the … Read moreStay true to who you are when you’re in a relationship

How to balance dating with a busy work and social life

It seems like people are busier these days, which make it harder to date. It feels like more people work longer hours, spend more time on side projects, and generally have less free time to spend on the laborious task that is dating. I’ve heard … Read moreHow to balance dating with a busy work and social life

In dating, you don’t always get what you deserve

There’s a certain prevailing mindset when it comes to dating, one that supposes that there is a certain amount of fairness in dating. An idea that if you put in the work, you’ll get a good result. There is some truth to that in small … Read moreIn dating, you don’t always get what you deserve

Take a break from dating. You probably need it.

Last week, I needed a break from the blog. My day-to-day life had gotten so busy that trying to write or podcast would have overwhelmed me. So I took a break. Taking a break doesn’t come easy for me. I feel a certain sense of obligation to … Read moreTake a break from dating. You probably need it.

Podcast Ep.134 – 7 Red Flags To Watch Out For When Dating

This week, I wanted to talk about Red Flags. What red flags to look out for before and during your relationship, and how to spot them. I wanted to focus on red flags that are pretty common, because while there will always be red flags … Read morePodcast Ep.134 – 7 Red Flags To Watch Out For When Dating

Should you worry about your partner’s contact with their ex?

The longer we date, and the more dating experience we get, the more likely we are to date someone who has an ex who they’re in contact with. Could be their child’s parent, could be an ex that’s a part of their friend group, or … Read moreShould you worry about your partner’s contact with their ex?

I’m a dating novice, any tips for asking her out on Facebook?

jtayl529 asks: I know it’s not the best way to do it through Facebook, but I have no idea when/if I’ll see her again, I know her through university. I want to ask her out, I just don’t know what to say or what to … Read moreI’m a dating novice, any tips for asking her out on Facebook?

Should you date someone if they’re not sure they want what you want?

As far as I’m aware, there doesn’t seem to be any research done on this sort of scenario, so just know that my opinions on the subject are based on anecdotal evidence. My own experiences, the experiences of others, and to be candid, my own … Read moreShould you date someone if they’re not sure they want what you want?

Podcast Ep.133 – How do you find the right person for you?

  Today I wanted to talk to you about how to find the right person for you. We’re all looking for different things in a partner, or our romantic searches, but how we go about finding what we’re looking for can be the same. Whether … Read morePodcast Ep.133 – How do you find the right person for you?

Podcast Ep.132 – How to bounce back from a Rejection

In this week’s episode, I wanted to talk about bouncing back from rejection in a way that looks at what you can do to bounce back, with a focus on changing how you view rejections. Basically, focus on the internal, how you feel, versus the external. … Read morePodcast Ep.132 – How to bounce back from a Rejection

Dear Nice Guys: Stop trying to be Nice. Be real instead

Hey man, what’s up? How you doing? While you’re here, I wanted to ask you something: Would you describe yourself as a nice guy? Or has that term become too loaded for you to say out loud, but you still subscribe to a dating philosophy … Read moreDear Nice Guys: Stop trying to be Nice. Be real instead

I want them to commit but I don’t want to. How do I fix this?

CheeseIsReallyGood asks: When I’m dating a guy I always fluctuate between not being that interested and wondering whether I should dump him, and being really scared and getting really emotional when I get the slightest hint that he could be losing interest in me. So … Read moreI want them to commit but I don’t want to. How do I fix this?

She’s interesting but taken. What should I do?

CortexN asks: I met this woman 5 months ago thanks to a friend of mine, and we have chatted a lot since then, mostly in person and not on social media. This surprised me because I wasn’t expecting me to find someone so interesting in … Read moreShe’s interesting but taken. What should I do?

Podcast Ep.131 – #AppLessApril is Ending. Here’s what you should do

If you haven’t heard, Bustle, the online women’s magazine, has for the second year in a row deemed April “App-Less April”. This is an effort to encourage people to drop their dating apps, and take a shot at meeting people the old-fashioned way. I for … Read morePodcast Ep.131 – #AppLessApril is Ending. Here’s what you should do

Why is dating complicated?

I believe that dating is, by its nature, complicated. And no, before you even go down that path, I don’t think it suddenly became complicated because of the advent of dating apps, it’s always been complicated. The rules for Victorian courtship were complicated too. Could you … Read moreWhy is dating complicated?

How will you know when you’ve found the one?

Does your heart race at the mention of their name? Does the thought of living life without them make your heart hurt? Can you picture a world without them? Ah to be young and madly in love. That all-consuming love that makes you feel vulnerable … Read moreHow will you know when you’ve found the one?

Dear women: Please stop taking dating advice from men who hate you

*This piece is less dating advice, and more advice about heeding dating advice.  There seems to be a trend, or maybe it’s just a constant state of being, where many heterosexual men who give dating and relationship advice have an axe to grind against women. … Read moreDear women: Please stop taking dating advice from men who hate you

Dating apps aren’t the problem, how you use them is

Without fail, there will always be a new article about why dating apps are the problem with dating. These articles, much like the “I’m leaving New York for {smaller, less diverse locale}” are a genre of think-piece all on their own. If you’ve read one, you’ve … Read moreDating apps aren’t the problem, how you use them is

What does a rejection look like?

You might be thinking that spotting a rejection is as simple as understanding words like “No” or “Not interested”, but surprisingly that’s not the case. Many people have a hard time recognizing a rejection, because rejections take on lots of different forms. Though let’s be … Read moreWhat does a rejection look like?

Podcast Ep.129 – Commitment and Exclusivity

Two things that many daters are looking for, and can’t quite seem to find, is commitment and being exclusive. It seems like no matter how hard people try, they just can’t seem to figure out how to get what they want. Why can’t they find someone … Read morePodcast Ep.129 – Commitment and Exclusivity

What can you do if they don’t want to rush into a relationship?

“Things are going really well, I just don’t want to rush into a relationship” Sound familiar? I know it has for me in the past, and maybe it has for you. I’ve always hated uncertainty in dating, and nothing would make me more uncertain than … Read moreWhat can you do if they don’t want to rush into a relationship?

Should you date someone if you want a commitment and they only want sex?

Running low on time? Here’s the short answer: No. Hell No. Hell to the naw. Still here? Fine, I guess I can go into the reason why you shouldn’t since you’ve got time. If you want a commitment, and they only want casual sex, you … Read moreShould you date someone if you want a commitment and they only want sex?

What do you do when you’re in love with someone you’re not attracted to?

Occasionally, people find the blog through search terms that bum me out. You can ask me about why people ghost until the cows come home and I won’t bat an eye, but as soon as you ask about the imbalances that can happen in dating, … Read moreWhat do you do when you’re in love with someone you’re not attracted to?

How should you respond to a rejection text?

Let’s face it, if you’ve ever put yourself out there in any way, you’ve been rejected. Let’s move away from the myriad rejections that happen in everyday life, like not getting a job or promotion, losing out on an apartment or home, and focus on … Read moreHow should you respond to a rejection text?

Podcast Ep.128 – What makes someone good at dating?

What is it that makes someone good at dating? It’s a question I’ve thought about a lot, and one that we thought we’d take a stab at answering in this episode. Assuming that everyone isn’t good at dating, specifically online dating, so we’ve got some … Read morePodcast Ep.128 – What makes someone good at dating?

How to send and respond to a good message on a dating app

I tend to forget that for many people, the basics of online dating are anything but basic. If you were an early adopter and advocate of online dating like me,  you’re probably pretty well versed on the do’s and don’t of online dating. But many … Read moreHow to send and respond to a good message on a dating app

What makes someone want to be exclusive?

Hey, it’s Demetrius. How’s it going? I wanted to write this post to address a prevailing thought, and a common search term, that leads people to the site: What makes someone want to be exclusive? I’ve found that the reason people ask this question is … Read moreWhat makes someone want to be exclusive?

I used make women uncomfortable, now I’m too much of a “nice guy”. How do I find a balance?

mcnoshave asks: I’m a 25/m. I used to hit on everyone regardless of making them uncomfortable, now gone to far the other way and started doing the “nice guy” thing, how do you strike a balance? Keeping it brief. I used to hit on girls, … Read moreI used make women uncomfortable, now I’m too much of a “nice guy”. How do I find a balance?

She’s stopped responding after I shared my feelings over text. What happened?

jcarlosarrieta asks: So I’ve been talking to this girl for around 3-4 Months and we have been hitting it off very well. On our second date , she asked what I was looking for and I told her that I would like something serious, but … Read moreShe’s stopped responding after I shared my feelings over text. What happened?

Podcast Ep.127 – When should you bring up things like marriage & kids when dating? – Pt. 2

In part 2 of this guest hosted episode of the podcast, we continue our discussion from our previous episode Ep.126 – When should you bring up things like marriage & kids when dating? – Pt. 1 . My guest host from the episode is Perhaps Perhaps, … Read morePodcast Ep.127 – When should you bring up things like marriage & kids when dating? – Pt. 2

She wants to break up because her parents don’t approve of my race. Any advice?

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 5 years, we were in high school when we started dating. One thing she told me, repeatedly told me, is that her parents are racists and if we were still together after high school we’d have to … Read moreShe wants to break up because her parents don’t approve of my race. Any advice?

Podcast Ep.126 – When should you bring up things like marriage & kids when dating? – Pt. 1

I called in a guest host for this episode and the episode ended up being so good and so long, we had to split it in TWO. You may recognize my guest host from episode 114, Talk Poly to Me, Perhaps Perhaps, aka @PolyGalSeeks on … Read morePodcast Ep.126 – When should you bring up things like marriage & kids when dating? – Pt. 1

There isn’t one reason dating isn’t working for you

Hey, it’s Demetrius, how’s it going? I hope you’re well. Listen, I keep hearing people asking why dating isn’t working for them, and I’m seeing a lot of different reasons why from people from all walks of life. Hell, if you ask me on any … Read moreThere isn’t one reason dating isn’t working for you

Do you have to be good at cold approaching women to succeed in dating?

Himalayan_Hillbilly asks: So basically every piece of dating advice discusses how you need to get comfortable approaching women whenever and wherever in order to get good with women. However, I have a number of buddies who are really good with women, and I don’t think any … Read moreDo you have to be good at cold approaching women to succeed in dating?

Podcast Ep.125 – Do you feel like a stepping stone for your Exes?

This week’s episode is a good one, and we hope it was worth the wait. Do you ever feel like you’re a stepping stone for your Exes to find someone better than you? Do you ever feel like the “starter” relationship?  Do you ever feel … Read morePodcast Ep.125 – Do you feel like a stepping stone for your Exes?

Should I wait to see if this guy changes his mind about relationships?

aqua_not_capri asks: I’ve known this guy for two months. I wasn’t expecting anything to happen but I fell for him. We’ve been talking and he likes me, but he hadn’t been looking for a relationship either and didn’t expect to like me this much. He … Read moreShould I wait to see if this guy changes his mind about relationships?

These dating questions brought you here, so let’s answer them

Hey, it’s me, Demetrius. How’s it going in your part of the world? Listen, I’m going to level with you, writing 5 days a week can get a bit exhausting and at some point, I flat-out run out of things to write about. Luckily, that’s … Read moreThese dating questions brought you here, so let’s answer them

You’re recently single, now what?

Breakups, no matter the level of seriousness of the relationship that preceded it, are rarely fun. At some point, you wanted things to work out in your relationship, regardless how it ended. Whether it was a short relationship, friends with benefits, a marriage, or anything … Read moreYou’re recently single, now what?

How do I know if I should settle?

As a man of the people, sometimes I like to crowd-source sex, dating, and relationship questions. One such question I asked for and received was from PolyGalSeeks, who you might remember from Episode 114 of the podcast, Talk Poly To Me. I asked for a dating … Read moreHow do I know if I should settle?

What are some things to keep in mind when moving in with your partner?

So today, I had a bit of writer’s block today, so I asked Twitter for some help. Luckily, I have the good fortune to follow and be followed by some awesome people, like Jenn from the blog Jenn and the City, where she covers just dating, … Read moreWhat are some things to keep in mind when moving in with your partner?

Anyone else feel like their exes use them as a stepping stone?

PathologicalFryer asks: Every time I break up with someone, the next guy my ex-girlfriend dates is taller, more athletic, more attractive and smarter than I am. Why would anyone ever consider settling for me if it appears I’m just the bottom rung on the ladder to … Read moreAnyone else feel like their exes use them as a stepping stone?

Is it weird to mention that I’m looking for someone to share my hobbies in my dating profiles?

paulrobert89 asks: Is it weird to mention running and looking for a running partner in my dating profiles?   So I’ve been a runner for most of my life and try and run 3 times a week or more. I’m only using the tinder app … Read moreIs it weird to mention that I’m looking for someone to share my hobbies in my dating profiles?

Podcast Ep.124 – How should I Break-Up with my Girlfriend?

In this week’s episode we answer a question about breakup etiquette. What would you do if you wanted to breakup with your partner of 3 years, but the only way to do so in-person would require a 7 hr drive for one of you? Would … Read morePodcast Ep.124 – How should I Break-Up with my Girlfriend?

How do I let a friend know it’s too hurtful to remain just friends?

duttyrage asks: How do I let a friend know that it’s too hurtful to remain just friends after she friendzoned me?   I’ve developed genuine feelings for a friend. I’ve gradually escalated and expressed signs of interest and she reciprocates. We both flirt with each-other, … Read moreHow do I let a friend know it’s too hurtful to remain just friends?

How do I “man up” and ask a girl I like out?

Askoutagirlthrowaway asks: I’ve known a girl in my class for a few months now, we get along and I just want to ask her to do something with me. I tried doing it today but backed out just become I’m scared & a little awkward … Read moreHow do I “man up” and ask a girl I like out?

Valentine’s Day is Just Another Day

Hey, it’s Demetrius. How are you doing? I hope you’re doing well, but its okay if you’re not. Especially if the reason you aren’t doing so well is because it’s the eve of Valentine’s Day, and you’re feeling a bit down about the day and … Read moreValentine’s Day is Just Another Day

Podcast Ep.123 – How much should I disclose about my past affairs?

In this week’s post we answer a listener’s question about honesty, when it comes to his past infidelities. If you’ve cheated in the past, and that’s why your marriage ended, how honest do you have to be when you start dating again about your infidelities? … Read morePodcast Ep.123 – How much should I disclose about my past affairs?

Do I wait for him to ask me out on Valentine’s Day?

Throwuhway88 asks: I’ve been dating this guy [28] for almost 3 months, and things are going well. Last night it was his birthday and planned something for us which he really appreciated and we had an awesome time. We kissed goodbye at the subway station and … Read moreDo I wait for him to ask me out on Valentine’s Day?

Podcast Ep.122 – 7 Things That Can Ruin A Relationship

In this week’s episode we discuss 7 things we think can ruin a relationship. Whether it’s incompatible sex drives, a lack of trust, or messy behavior on Instagram, of which I am guilty of because I like to stir the pot, there are plenty of … Read morePodcast Ep.122 – 7 Things That Can Ruin A Relationship

10 Dating Questions I Always Get Asked, Answered

Hi, I’m Demetrius. I’m  a Sex, Dating, and Relationship advice writer and podcaster. You might recognize my work from this very blog, or my contributions to other blogs and publications. If this is the first post you’re reading of mine, welcome! Don’t worry, you don’t … Read more10 Dating Questions I Always Get Asked, Answered

Can I ask out a guy I unintentionally ghosted a year ago?

atlisse asks: We met online and agreed to meet for coffee. The date went amazing and we definitely had chemistry. We hung out for 6 hours as opposed to the 1 hour coffee chat we had planned. He texted me later asking me on another date, and … Read moreCan I ask out a guy I unintentionally ghosted a year ago?

If they want to be friends before dating, should I still see them?

I’d heard from an early age that the best way to build a long and happy relationship was to establish a friendship first. I’m still on the fence. I’m of the mind that you should consider your partner a friend, but I don’t think that … Read moreIf they want to be friends before dating, should I still see them?

7 things you can do when you’re “too busy” to date

I’m a pretty busy guy, and I’m guessing that you, like many modern daters, are pretty busy too. Between my day job, writing, and podcasting (you’d be surprised how long it takes to edit 15 minutes of audio), it’s hard for me to find time … Read more7 things you can do when you’re “too busy” to date

Guest Post – 6 Ways Guys Ruin A First Date Before It Even Happens

For a woman in the online dating community, it’s easy to become discouraged with the numerous faux pas men are guilty of in the dating pool. Impressing a potential mate on a first date is imperative in the courting process, but there are a few … Read moreGuest Post – 6 Ways Guys Ruin A First Date Before It Even Happens

Podcast Ep.121 – Why do some people rush into relationships?

This week we wanted to talk about rushing into relationships. What is it that makes people want to rush into a relationship? What drives people to decide after the first or second date that they need to dive headlong into a relationship? What sort of … Read morePodcast Ep.121 – Why do some people rush into relationships?

Here’s how to make your online life a little less stressful

Hey there, it’s me, Demetrius. How’s it going? I’m doing well, all things considered, but I’ll be honest with you. A lot of what I’m seeing online is stressing me out. I’m worried about people losing access to healthcare. I’m worried that children fleeing a … Read moreHere’s how to make your online life a little less stressful

How do you move from matching on a dating app, to texting, to a first date?

Let’s take a little break from dating and relationship advice that deals with the tough issues, and let’s just talk about actually getting on a date after matching on a dating app. Chances are good that if you’re reading this, you’re on at least one … Read moreHow do you move from matching on a dating app, to texting, to a first date?

Have you ever slept with your roommate? What should I do?

Brian from Ohio asks: I met a girl a few years ago. I was attracted to her, but she had a boyfriend at the time. We live in the same city, and would see each other in bigger groups occasionally. When she broke up with her … Read moreHave you ever slept with your roommate? What should I do?

Can you date someone if you have nothing in common?

Can you date someone if you have nothing in common?   It’s a question I’ve probably touched on in the past, but it’s been coming to mind recently. The short answer, as is often the case with so many dating questions, is “maybe”. Sure, you … Read moreCan you date someone if you have nothing in common?

Podcast Ep.120 – A listener asks: How soon is too soon on a road trip?

  In this episode, we open up the Tao of Indifference hotline to answer a listener question about a very specific situation. How soon is too soon to have sex on a first date is an easy answer, sure, but what if it’s a crush … Read morePodcast Ep.120 – A listener asks: How soon is too soon on a road trip?

If she is always the first to view my Snapchat story. Is she interested?

youngth asks: If a girl is repeatedly the first to view your snapchat story, is that any indication of interest? Literally every single story I post is viewed by her first. I have a MASSIVE crush on this beautiful woman and I’m lost. I genuinely … Read moreIf she is always the first to view my Snapchat story. Is she interested?

Wanted to go for a kiss, couldn’t muster it. What should I do?

JawnOfArc asks: So tonight was my second date with a girl I started seeing. The first date went quite well; we sat at a coffee shop for about two hours and had some nice, organic conversation with laughs and basically no silences at all. I’m … Read moreWanted to go for a kiss, couldn’t muster it. What should I do?

Podcast Ep.119 – How to deal with dating flakey people?

Dating flakey people really are the worst. Unreliable, infuriating, and inconsiderate. The problem is, we can’t completely avoid people flaking on us at least once. So how do you deal with dating flakey people? I know you’ve been wondering, so we’ve got some answers for … Read morePodcast Ep.119 – How to deal with dating flakey people?

Any advice for loosening up on a first date?

siguelacumbia asks: Any advice for loosening up on a first date and being less serious and non-talkative? Any advice for loosening up on a first date and being less serious and non-talkativeAny advice for loosening up on a first date and being less serious and … Read moreAny advice for loosening up on a first date?

Let’s prep for your online date!

Whether you’re trying out online dating for the first time, or an old pro who needs a little advice about prepping for first dates. First dates, no matter how many you’ve been on, are no picnic. Getting someone to hold a conversation with you, getting to … Read moreLet’s prep for your online date!

Podcast Ep.118 – Should you tell them you’ve met someone else?

We’re back, did you miss us? For the first episode of 2017 we wanted to answer a question: If you’re dating someone, and you met someone else, when you end things, should you tell them you’ve met someone else? Seems like a simple enough question, so … Read morePodcast Ep.118 – Should you tell them you’ve met someone else?

Is it normal to ask if she’s seeing other guys?

ThatsFuckingObvious asks: Is it normal to ask if she’s seeing other guys? Like just nonchalantly I don’t wanna make a big deal of it or anything. I’ve been seeing her for a month or so. Or is a question like this usually tied to the whole … Read moreIs it normal to ask if she’s seeing other guys?

Is a long distance relationship worth it?

DinoSorceress11h asks: I’ve been home for the holidays (I go to school about 2000 km away from home) and met a guy (on tinder) we ended up hitting it off really well, and have gone on several dates over the past 2 weeks, and I … Read moreIs a long distance relationship worth it?