Spring is on it’s way and it’s time to do a little spring cleaning. Not just in your home, but also in your love life. Now’s a great time to start fresh for the year and get to work cleaning up your love life:
1. Ask yourself: Am I holding myself back?
Self-sabotage is a real thing and I know for a fact that I used to do it. I knew what type of woman was right for me and I sought out the exact opposite type of woman. So ask yourself this:
Are you holding yourself back?
Are you preventing yourself from experiencing love and happiness?
If you are holding yourself back, whether through action or inaction, it’s time to make some changes. Figure out if you’re sabotaging yourself, how you’re doing it, and work on correcting or stopping those behaviors. It could be as simple as avoiding certain types of people, or seeking professional help for dealing with your self-esteem. What those changes are is entirely up to you, just make sure you do them at a pace you’re comfortable with.
2. Figure out what you want and seek it
If your dating life is in the dumps, have you considered that maybe it might be because of WHO you’re trying to date? I’m a big believer in the idea that water seeks it’s own level. If you’re trying to date people who aren’t at the same level as you, you’re likely to have some pretty bad dating stories. You’ve read my dating stories right?
I eventually realized what I type of person I was and I sought out a similar type of woman because I found most of my characteristics attractive. If I can do it, you can too. The figuring out is the hardest part, but once you get over that, you’ll find that dating is a lot easier.
3. Drop the flakes
The spring thaw should hopefully see the end of all flakes in your life. Hopefully, that means snowflakes as well (looking at you Boston), but what I mean is this:
Get rid of all the flaky people you’re kind of sort of dating.
Get rid of the people who have you on hold, or don’t make you a priority, or can’t seem to commit to a date and time for a date. If you’re approaching spring and you’re still seeing that on again-off again person, it’s time to let them go.
You should only date people who are willing to give you what you’re willing to give.
If you want a committed relationship and you’re seeing someone who doesn’t want that but is still dating you, stop seeing them. You might think it sounds selfish but it’s okay to try to get what you want. It’s your dating life after all. If you’re dealing with a flaky person, chances are you’re not getting what you want, so why continue dating them? It’s a rhetorical question, you know what you have to do.
4. Clean out your closet
I mean this both metaphorically and literally. Clean out your mental closet by not dwelling on your past. Had a few bad dates? Maybe you slept with someone too early? Maybe you had your heart broken, or broke a few hearts yourself. Doesn’t matter, Move forward. Unless you’re Marty McFly, you cannot change the past. You can accept your past, apologize if you need to, but in the end you need to move on. You should also LITERALLY clean out your closet of reminders of your past. Get rid of old keepsakes from former lovers, make sure your condoms haven’t expired (Spermicide lubricated condoms usually have a shelf life of about 3 years), get rid of your sexy underwear if they were a gift from an ex. Yes I’m serious. If your former lover bought you some La Perla, I know it will suck to get rid of it, but just maybe it’s bad juju to wear it with your current lover. If you broke up with the person who gave you your sexiest piece of underwear, who are you going to think about when you wear it?
5. Commit to dating differently
The most important thing to remember is this: These changes wont happen on their own. You need to commit to cleaning up your love life. There is no service you can call, or pill to take, you need to commit to the changes if you actually want to change.
Good Luck Out There.