She told me she liked me, I played it off as a joke. What do I do now?

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Anonymous asks:

A girl I’ve known for a few months and kinda liked was in a group chat with me and a couple of other friends. The topic switched to food for some reason, and her response to “I like (dessert)” was “I like you”… Followed by awkward silence. I was so surprised by it that I just played it off and pretended it to be a joke, and the others followed suit. We never really went back to that topic after that, and I feel really bad for ignoring it.

How do I approach the topic again without being awkward?


Demetrius says:

First off we have to get one thing clear: Are you into this girl? Your answer changes my answers, so I’ll just try to cover it from a “you’re still into her” and “you’ve lost interest in her” perspective..

If you’re into her, the best thing to do is attempt to apologize and recover. We can’t all be quick on our feet, but if you tell her that you’re into her and that you were thrown off when she said she likes you, I’m sure she’ll understand. It was clearly a bad move on your part, but it’s not like it’s a situation that you can’t salvage. It will take a mix of honesty, frankness, and heartfelt apology to try to win her over, but it’s not impossible. Just be honest and let her know how you feel, and how you’ve been feeling about her, and hope for the best. I’m sure it was a turn off to have you casually dismiss her attraction to you, so make sure you specifically acknowledge and apologize for that. It was a shitty move, but sometimes people’s instincts are shitty, and there is no getting around the past. Nothing to be done about it but move forward and hope for the best. Make sure that you do this in a way that is fairly isolated from your mutual friends. This shouldn’t be done in a group setting, or even in a setting where you’re with friends, but pull her away to have a separate conversation. No, you need to set aside time specifically to talk to her one-on-one. It will be an awkward conversation, and it’s possible that you being rude to her made her lose interest, but if you clear the air and apologize the worst case scenario is that you’ll eliminate at least some potential resentment and awkwardness. Best case scenario? You guys start dating. Either way, win-win!

Now, if you’re saying that you’ve lost interest in her and don’t want to make things more awkward, that’s a whole different story. Two ways to do it this either a) Address the issue, or b) ignore it. You don’t need me to teach you how to ignore problems, right? I wouldn’t recommend ignoring this situation, but it’s a pretty simple and easy thing to do. Now, if you’re planning on addressing it like an adult, do it very delicately. You should apologize for how you handled things, because when someone tells you that they like you, its common courtesy to not laugh at them. It’s even more of a douche move to make it a big joke with your friends, so apologize for both of those things. If she tries to play it off like she was joking, don’t insist upon apologizing, just say “Oh, I didn’t realize. I thought maybe I upset you, but if it didn’t bother you, no worries”. If you’re not into her, you don’t necessarily need to tell her that you aren’t interested, since your laughing it off sends a pretty clear message. If she asks whether or not you’d be interested in seeing her, just be honest about how you feel about her. Again, having serious adult conversations is difficult, whether good or bad, is going to be at least a little bit awkward no matter what. Just recognize that, be decent, and move forward.

Pro Tips for the future: If you like someone,  ask them out. Don’t wait for the perfect moment, CREATE the perfect moment. Alternatively, if you don’t like someone and they like you, don’t be a dick about it. Acknowledge it and treat their attraction with respect, even if you are rejecting them.

Good Luck Out There.

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