She ignored my text, but is liking my pictures. Do I have a shot?

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ImGANDALFtho asks:

Long story short. I went on a date with a girl. Thought it went really well, sent her a follow-up text the next day “hey I had a great time with you, we should go to the haunted house soon” (we previously talked about going on another date to the haunted house). Well, she never responded and its been about three weeks.

I never tried hitting her back up and she never tried hitting me up either. The weird thing is on Instagram she still is liking my posts. She didn’t like a picture I posted of my cousin and myself, but she liked pictures of food and random songs I posted. Does this mean that I have a chance/opportunity to hit her up and possibly go on a second date? or am I just over thinking her liking my pictures (since she didn’t like the picture of myself lol).


 

Demetrius says:

You know, people always ask “Do I have a chance?” and never ask themselves “Should I take this chance if it exists?”. There’s always a chance that people might regain interest, or that you can spark an interest, but the more important question should be whether or not to go through with it.

I’ve seen this situation play out countless times and the reason why I chose your question was primarily because it’s easy to answer and speaks to a larger mentality people have. That mentality is that you should continue to pursue people who don’t respect you. The dating world is full of people who treat others with little to no respect. We’ve all been conditioned to accept a certain level of disrespect in dating because it’s just what people do. Why do we think that it’s okay that people will flat-out not respond to a text message when it takes less than 30 seconds to type “Thanks” and hit send? It’s so easy to say “Thanks, but I’m not interested” and yet we are completely okay with the fact that if someone doesn’t respond to a text, you’re just supposed to get the hint. The terribleness of modern dating is primarily because we accept the bad behaviors of modern dating as normal. Which is the problem I’m seeing in society at large,and in your question.

So if it’s not clear what I’m saying, let’s be crystal: Sure, I guess you have a chance, even if that chance is 0.00001% of a chance of reconnecting with this girl. Should you try to pursue her? Sure, if you like being treated like you’re not worth a simple text response, whether she’s interested or not. If you’ve ever thought to yourself “I am NOT deserving of basic respect” then by all means, take a shot with her. On the other hand if you realize that you deserve, at minimum, a response to a polite text, maybe this isn’t the girl for you. If you’d like to be treated like a human who is deserving of basic human dignity, do not, under any circumstances, pursue her. If she can’t do you the courtesy of replying to a simple text she is not worth your time or effort in pursuing.

One last thing: don’t read too much into the liking your stuff on Instagram thing. Likes on social media mean absolutely nothing without the actions to back it up. If she’s liking your posts on Instagram but not putting in the effort to reply to a text, she’s not worth your time.

Good Luck Out There.

8 Replies to “She ignored my text, but is liking my pictures. Do I have a shot?”

  1. This is so well said! I have been struggling with this since a guy I was seeing for 2 months ghosted me- crazy disrespectful. I find myself at conflict with missing him and being like NO HE’S A DISRESPECTFUL, SELFISH ASSHOLE WHO I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH. I hate that disrespect and cowardice have become the norm in dating today.

  2. I’m not gonna be as harsh but – give her a call….like an actual telephone call, with a ringer, and voice and possibility of conversation.

    That conversation will either take place and you’ll have a better idea of your chances, or she won’t respond and she ain’t worth it. Or the phone call will actually make a better impression.

  3. Good advice here. I’ve had plenty of similar interactions. Sounds like a very very weak connection that isn’t worth investing your time to pursue it further.

    Essentially, she’s into you enough to give you 1 tap on the smartphone screen for an Instagram like. But she’s not into you enough to give 20 taps on the screen to construct a text message reply.

    In other words, some people are happy to keep you around as a follower on their social media but nothing more.

    Next.

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