Could this guy still be into me after our awkward kiss?

summer-darling-thatsdarlingVivicav asks:

So, about 6 months ago, I went on two very casual dates with this guy. He seemed really interested in me because when he first asked me out I blatantly ignored him (not on purpose, it’s coz I’m social-media failure and I missed his messages and then I figured it was too late to answer him, but then he messaged me again…) Anyway, so, I had never been kissed before, even though I’m in my late teens (all girls school) and I was probably a bit childish about the whole thing, but anyway, I just decided to tell him and he was a real gentleman and then on the second date he kissed me and it was REALLY awkward and ENTIRELY my fault that it was! And he knew I was freaked out but we still went for something to eat. But then later, he messaged me and said that he thought we were both really busy with school and stuff and that he still really liked me but he thought we shouldn’t go out again. And at the time I was relieved coz I was SO embarrassed. But I have kept thinking about him for the past 6 months and I was thinking of asking him out again, but I really don’t want to be rejected, so I was just wondering if there’s any way that he might give me another chance?

Demetrius says:

I love answering dating questions from teens. It’s usually way less depressing to be honest. Also, it allows me to be a much nicer version of myself, and honestly I need that every once in a while. Don’t worry kid, I’ll be as kind as possible.

Here’s your situation as I see it:

  • Went on two dates 6 months ago
  • After the 2nd date you had a really awkward kiss
  • After that awkward kiss, he said that you both were really busy and he said you shouldn’t go out again

Since you’re young and new to dating, I will let you in on a little secret. When people reject others, a very common tactic they use is to make the rejection sound like a “We” decision instead of an “I” decision. Let’s say that after an awkward kiss, I want to reject a girl indirectly by saying that suddenly I’m very busy. Instead of leading with “I am very busy” I could say “we are both busy” and try to make it sound like parting ways was a mutual decision. Doing that might lessen the blow, or make me feel better for rejecting a nice person. That’s what he did when he rejected you. Were you actually busy or just going along with what he said? Was he actually busy, or just trying to be polite? I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think you’ve got a shot with this guy. It’s okay though, because you didn’t do anything wrong and it’s possible that he realized you weren’t a good match. It probably had nothing to do with the kiss, and more to do with him wanting to date other people. Oh and trust me, everyone’s first kiss was awkward.

With all that said, don’t be afraid to get rejected. Keep in mind that the fear of rejection is worse than actually being rejected. Worst case scenario in this situation you ask him out and he gives you a wishy-washy “I’m super busy, sorry”. Best case scenario, he agrees to go on another date. Let’s remove this guy out of the equation altogether. You ask a guy out in the future, best case scenario he says yes, worst case scenario he says no, WORST case scenario (because based on your age you might be in highschool and high schoolers are notoriously terrible) you ask him out, he says no, someone tries to make fun of you for it. If that happens, shrug and say “I asked him out, he wasn’t interested, no big deal” and move on.

Trust me, your fear of rejection is always worse than the actual rejection.

Good Luck Out There.

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