She asked me to hang out on NYE. How should I act?

couple-love-people-romantic (2)

newyearoldthrowaway asks:

Brittney [27F], our mutual friend, Sarah, and I [25M] all met through work. Sarah and Brittney have been friends for 10+ years. Sarah and I worked together in the same department while Brittney worked in another, so I saw a lot of Sarah and saw Brittney maybe 3-4 times over the year. Sarah and I got close as friends (nothing more on either of our ends) and while my relationship with my now ex-gf was coming to an end, Sarah was the one to help me out and give me advice.

Sarah had mentioned that I should go on a date with Brittney and had given me her number. After a few days of texting back and forth, we agreed to meet up the following week. After meeting up, our date was cut short due to an emergency in the family and she ended up flying out-of-state to visit her family for a few weeks. I offered her support in anything that she needed and parted ways (obviously, I wasn’t going to push the whole “When can I see you again?” line). Since then, I have been giving her space and we have texted back and forth every few weeks but nothing substantial outside of the “happy holidays” text and “how have you been?”. 

The other day, she asked me what she was doing for NYE and I replied that I was just planning on hanging out with a few friends. She replied with “Well, I was just hanging out with Sarah and was wondering if you wanted to come with me to grab some drinks and then to surprise her at her house party?”. I told her that I would be happy to accompany her and it now looks like I have a “date” for NYE.

My question is: How do I “act” on this night? I figured a NYE kiss is in order but outside of that one failed date night, we haven’t really seen each other since. Also, this is the first time a girl has asked me out so it kind of caught me off guard haha!


Demetrius says:

If nothing else, you’ve got a date for New Year’s Eve, which at its worst, hey, you’ve got a built-in excuse for a kiss.

First let me just say, I don’t think your last date was a “failed date night”. Something legitimately bad happened to cut your date short, and since then you’ve done nothing but be supportive and kind to a friend who needed it. What you perceive as a failed date probably worked in your favor more than anything else. You aren’t the guy who went on a date that failed, you’re the guy who went on a date with a girl who had a sudden emergency, who then was nothing but kind to her, AND you didn’t do the selfish thing where you try to force another date before she’s ready. Sounds like a solid foundation to me. I’m sure that factored into her asking you out if I’m being honest and optimistic.

Think of your New Year’s Eve plans as either a re-do of your first date, or a second date. I can’t read minds or anything, but generally if a woman asks you out it’s a good sign. If she asks you out on a date on a special occasion it’s a great sign. Sure, there are situations where you’re just being asked to do a special occasion date because they just want a date/don’t want to roll solo, but considering that you both know each other, and your romantic intentions were pretty clear, I don’t think that’s the case. She knows you, knows you’re interested, and you’ve demonstrated to her that you’re an understanding gentleman. I’m guessing that she sees you as a viable romantic option, so you should proceed as such.

When you see her, be clear about your attraction to her. I’m not saying that you should immediately declare an undying love for her, or start trying to shove your tongue down her throat, but you can do subtle things. When you greet her, give her a warm hug, hold her hand, be generally warm and fuzzy but keep in line with your personality. Don’t do anything out of character, but be sure to treat her more as a love interest than as a friend. You should be trying to make it clear through body language and subtle hints that you’d like to ring in the New Year with a kiss. I’m almost certain the feeling will be mutual here, but it’s always a good idea to make that clear through non-verbal clues.

Beyond that, just have a good time. Socialize, be your normal charming self, and plan to be near her when the ball is about to drop. If you find that this wasn’t a romantic invite and she did just invite you for the company and not for the kiss to close the night, that’s okay too. I’ve had exactly 3 kisses to ring in the New Year in over 12 years of dating and I never beat myself up about it, and you shouldn’t either. A calendar year is just the measurement of the time it takes for the earth to orbit around the sun, and the fact that we choose January 1st as the start of the new year is arbitrary.Did you know that New Year’s celebrations have only existed for about 4000+ years in human history? Or that at one point, the celebration of the New Year was on March 25th in some places (prior to the adoption of the Gregorian calendar), or that the Ethiopian calendar’s new year’s day is September 11th, (12th on Leap years), or that several cultures use a Lunar Calendar to mark years?

Trust me, if you don’t get a kiss at 12:01am on January 1st, it doesn’t matter all that much.

Good Luck Out There.

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