I live with my brother, will this affect my dating chances?

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Mechagodzilla4 asks:
I’ve been living with my brother for a while now, (I’m 31, he’s 41) and we both get on well, but I’m wanting to get out and start dating. We live together because I want to get an education and I’m trying to get into Uni + economy isn’t great.We both co-own 2 places but we’re planning on separating financially in the next few years, I have my own car.

I missed the whole dating im my 20’s, so I’m still learning. Will this affect my prospects?


Demetrius says:

One of the most common types of questions I answer is “Will X make me less desirable?”. Often times, there isn’t one specific answer because people tend to have very different ideas about what would be a turn on or turn off in dating. That said, I think that in most cases, what people think might be a negative usually isn’t.

Let’s take your living situation. Minus the familial relationship, what you’re really asking is if you having a roommate is a turnoff. The answer is probably not. If there was some alternate version of you who was exactly the same, except he lived on his own, and a woman had to choose between the two, all things being equal she’d probably choose the version of you with your own place. But that’s just a hypothetical scenario. Having roommates is hardly a deterrent for most people in dating. In my entire dating history, I’d say that 75% of the women I’ve dated have had roommates. Half of the people I know either currently have roommates, or had roommates before they met their current partner. As you say, the economy isn’t great. People, both men and women, tend to prefer if a prospective romantic partner has their own place, but it’s usually not a dealbreaker. Living with your parents might be a dealbreaker for a lot of people, but rooming with your brother probably isn’t a dealbreaker for most people who you meet. Trust me, odds are good that the people you’re going to meet and date probably have roommates.

Oh and let me just be even more explicit. Even if having a roommate would be a bit of a red mark against you, you’ve got a lot going for you that would probably balance it out. For starters, it sounds like you’re doing fairly well financial. “Well” is subjective, but co-owning two pieces of property and owning a car seem to be clear indicators that you’ve got something going well in your life financially. Would someone rather date someone with their own apartment, or someone who shares an apartment, but owns property and a car? Renting your own place is cool and all, but the fact that you own property is going to be more attractive than if you just had an apartment to yourself.

I think you’ll do just fine in dating, to be quite honest. You seem like you’ve got a good head on your shoulders, you’re a property owner, and you’ve got some feasible short-term goals in life, and in dating. You might not be the most experienced dater, but no one can tell that just by looking at you. I think you’ll do fine in dating, as long as you keep an open mind, focus on learning and growing, and don’t worry too much about what might affect your dating prospects.

Good Luck Out There.

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