Is it weird to mention that I’m looking for someone to share my hobbies in my dating profiles?

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paulrobert89 asks:

Is it weird to mention running and looking for a running partner in my dating profiles?

 

So I’ve been a runner for most of my life and try and run 3 times a week or more. I’m only using the tinder app right now and haven’t really found anyone with a lot of my common interests. I figured I should change my profile so that mentions a hobby of mine : “Hey y’all recently returned from living in Europe and just on here looking to meet people and see where it goes. Oh and my favorite hobby is running! If anyone is looking for a running buddy let me know!”
I was just wondering if that seems like an ok thing to put in and not too weird. Thanks!


Demetrius says:

I wanted to answer this question, less so because of the running aspect of the question, and more so because it begs the larger question of whether or not it’s weird to be upfront about the importance of your hobbies on your dating profile(s).

I think it’s okay to be upfront about your hobbies, and the fact that you’re looking for someone to share those hobbies, if they really are important to you. Let’s say that you ran 3 times a week or more, but sharing that with your partner wasn’t a big deal. In that case, no, don’t put it on your profile. One of my hobbies that I do want to share with a partner, even if it’s more of a “I’m gonna talk about it a lot” is this very blog, so in the past, I’ve mentioned my writing on my dating profiles. What I usually didn’t put on my dating profiles was any mention of looking for someone who was into comics. Sure, it’s a hobby that I enjoy, one that I am very much enraptured by, but sharing that with my partner isn’t a big priority for me, so it’s not something that I would mention.

I think that it’s not only not-weird to mention your hobby, the way that you did is mostly perfect. Mostly. Here’s how I’d reframe it. First, this is what you wrote:

“Hey y’all recently returned from living in Europe and just on here looking to meet people and see where it goes. Oh and my favorite hobby is running! If anyone is looking for a running buddy let me know!”

…And this is how I would reword:

“Hey y’all recently returned from living in Europe and just on here looking to meet people and see where it goes. Oh and my favorite hobby is running! If anyone is Swipe right if you’re looking for a running buddy. let me know!

The reason I took out what I did is because saying “Swipe right if…” is a much more succinct way to say “This is something that matters to me and if it matters to you, we’ve already got common ground”. Besides that, I would highly recommend adding something more than your profile beyond the last place you lived, and your hobby. You know what gets old real fast, answer the same two questions after every new match. “Why were you living in Europe?” and “How did you get into running?” are cool enough questions to answer the first go round, but believe me, the 25th go-round you’re going to be so tired of answer those questions and their variations. You can leave that in your profile, but always have in a few more conversation starters about yourself, ones that lead to interesting stories. Oh and I didn’t touch the first line, but let me just say that I hate conditional phrases on dating profiles. “…just on here looking to meet people and see where it goes” is profile filler, it adds nothing useful or actionable for anyone to ask you other than “What are you looking for?”. Instead, you could cut your profile down even further like this:

Hey y’all I recently returned from living in Europe  and just on here looking to meet people and see where it goes., and it was an amazing experience. You should ask me about {insert conversation starter about your experience living in Europe}. Oh and my favorite hobby is running! If anyone is Swipe right if you’re looking for a running buddy. let me know!

I’m being general here because I don’t know what kind of stories or anecdotes you have but trust me, it’s always better to have something to pique people’s curiosity on your profile. In fact, it’s a good idea to have at least 3 different things that lead to conversations on your profile. No one ever says this, but I will. The goal of writing a good dating profile is to make it easy for someone to message you. Yes, sure, it’s about showcasing your personality, but the real goal of a dating profile is giving people a conversation thread to tug on. Profiles that say things like “Just ask me anything” don’t do this, and that’s why they suck.

So feel free to mention your hobbies on your profile if they’re important to you. Running, Crossfit, D&D, binge watching Game of Thrones, the NYT Sunday Crossword, or whatever else you’re super into. Nothing wrong with being upfront about trying to find someone who shares your interests.

Good Luck Out There.

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