It’s hard to let go, but sometimes you have to

There may come a point where you’re at a crossroads. Your relationship with a person, regardless of the level or type of commitment may hit a point of no return. You might think they’re wonderful, that they’re perfect, hell, you may even love them, but you’ve reached the point where what you want, and what they want and are willing to give you, just don’t match up. There may come a point where you need to let go of someone who isn’t bad per se, but bad for you. It’s hard to let go, but sometimes you have to.

I believe in unconditional love, I really do. I truly feel that there exists a love that is unflinching and uncompromising and will never end. I also believe that you can love a person in that way and still leave them. Loving someone, caring for someone, or simply acknowledging that they are good people doesn’t have to go hand in hand with being with them.

Sometimes, you have to make the hard choice of letting go of someone you love or care for. I’m not saying it will be easy, but there may come a point when you have to let go of someone who isn’t all bad. Not every breakup is precipitated by a betrayal.

The absence of pain should never be the reason you stay.

Someone doesn’t need to cheat on your to not be the right one for you. Someone doesn’t need to lie to you, or steal from you, to be bad for you. Some people are just not right for you, even if they’re decent people. Being treated with decency and respect should be a given in a relationship, not a reason to stay in one.

You can love someone and leave them, and still love them. You can care for someone and leave them, and still care for them. You can leave someone you consider a catch, and still consider them a catch. None of these things should be the reason you stay with someone.

You shouldn’t give up on people without trying of course. I think that if you care for someone, you should fight for them. To a point. If the only reason you’re fighting for someone is love, yours for them or vice versa, you have to consider what you’re really fighting for. Fighting for someone you love is fine on its own, but if the only reason you’re fighting for someone is because you love them, you’ll never stop fighting to make things work. Staying with someone, fighting to keep things going, simply to avoid breaking up is a bad idea.

If all that binds you to a person is your love for them, or their love for you, you have to really consider if it’s worth it to stay. The time you’ve already spent with someone isn’t a reason to stay with them. How “nice” they are isn’t a reason to stay either. There should be more to what connects you to someone than what they are to you, or how you feel about them.

The person you fight for should feel the same way that you do, want the same things that you do, and should be willing to work to build a future that you both want. If you can’t say that about the person you’re fighting to be with, it’s time to let them go. It will be hard, but dating and relationships requires hard choices from time to time.

Good Luck Out There.

Also published on Medium.